A Boyfriend that Never Was

"Thank you so much for the great memories after all those years. You are a very beautiful person. I pray that we remain good friends. Missed you..."         - fred


The above is a text message sent to me today by a former high school classmate who was supposed to be my boyfriend during that time, though I never knew - funny! This they told me when we met again on thanksgiving day 2010, after thirty four years, when he came to visit together with another classmate who works overseas. 

He is based in the US and had come to visit only for the third time since. The emotions were spontaneous at that moment. Hugs and laughter and recalls of memories...those years when we were doing all things in our innocence...that is why we want to go back to them, because it is those years that we were pure, no colors, no ideologies, young...just like the meristematic cells of plants - not yet developed, still to undergo transformation to become specialized to do certain functions. It is like we were all the same meristem cells - fresh from childhood but about to absorb more training in college and in work to become what we were programmed to be in our genes. 
   
Though we graduated from the same university, we were both surprised that we never encountered each other during my four years and his five years there. I was in the College of Natural Sciences while he was at the College of Engineering. At the time, the university has a population of about twenty thousand students. 

I knew he was a US Navy since I have seen their photos when they had a mini class reunion hosted by a good friend and classmate who is also based in the US. He is still working now - not sure though if still the same - as his two kids are still young. He married rather late. He had traveled the world, enjoyed his life, and was not able to get a wife earlier.

He thinks he may even know my estranged husband since they went to the same college at the same time but my ex husband shifted and graduated BS Mathematics with them then went back to finish his BSEE course after.
   
Two hours is all we could stay at their thanksgiving party since we had work the next day. He insisted to bring me home, "What is thirty minutes?" - he argued.

I also knew he had surrendered his life to the Lord even during their college years with another classmate who is now a pastor and a principal in a high school in Manila. We have a website where we communicate and keep abreast. I know he has entered God's arch many years ago.

In that thirty minutes ride home, he asked if my two sons had the same father. Smiling, I gave him a brief overview of my life's second phase. 

Being inside the arch makes one acquire wisdom. He was so happy to know that I have surrendered too, had entered the arch, and now am found and healed. 

I knew the joy that he felt for me that moment as he hugged me at my driveway saying, "...My sister in Christ!..."

And so the text message above...he must be at the airport back to the US... 


The photos below were taken during the said thanksgiving party. The first one was when he was telling me he was my boyfriend that I never knew about... and the second one is with our classmates after the revelations...

  ...It's another enjoyment phase thread connected to education phase...new life!

My Senpai

I would like to dedicate this portion to my Senpai.
Thirty four years ago, it was my last year in high school, when we had to undergo citizen's army training as requirement to graduate. I didn't have any idea about this except that my elder brother was one of the officers years before us. We didn't have choice when our section decided to join a special group within because we always moved together. All of us had to undergo the training. We supported and encouraged each other that we may all be together in it especially us girls. He was one of those who trained us with a couple of officers. Though my cousin was also one of them, he did not have time to come back for us. I was one of the cutest and petite in my class and I didn't know what we would have to do to pass this training. But I was not alone and all of us were there so I just had to go along. During our trainings that normally took place after academic hours, he was always there with the top officers to handle us. He was tall and good looking and had a peculiar smile - I would miss him when he was not there during those trainings. I don't exactly remember when and how it started but he would walk us from school after we dismiss. At the time, our class adviser would always counsel us every morning about having boyfriends - it was not the norm as we were to proceed to college. I was always with my best friend who was older than me so I felt safe and secure even though he was there. Should our teacher know about it, it was always with my bestie and me. He was charming too and it cannot be helped that other girls would have crush on him as I did. It was just that. We were all growing up and it was all part of our development stage.
But those years - innocent years - are the most memorable parts of the educational phase of our lives. As we reach the third stage, the enjoyment phase,  we tend to go back to it and and we search to find out about those people there whom we have shared a bit of our high school years. No wonder it is commonly known that high school life are the happiest - because those are the years we want to go back to. The years when we were pure and not tainted with any color.
We had a few brief moments in college but we were so young and so innocent then. We lost contact soon enough and never crossed paths again. I never forgot him though and his image would brush my mind till I graduated from college.
My second phase - experience phase - was tough and adventurous as my son puts it. I was totally engrossed. I never thought I would see him again after twenty four years when I was tagged along to attend a bonfire at our alma mater as part of our grand alumni homecoming. It slipped my mind that they were the host that year. I was just beginning to gather myself again that time having just emerged from a broken relationship and child custody battle. I have just come home after my twenty years experiencing phase. I wished I didn't attend that bonfire so that he could not have seen me in that stage. But then, it was quite dark and I just hoped it didn't show. I wanted to see him again in another time so I prayed and wished deeply in my heart that he too will come to meet Jesus in his life as I just did. That way, we may connect again in the future in God's love. This I sincerely did after knowing that he had been an overseas worker all his experience phase.
Ten years after, year 2010, as I was browsing my social networking site, I saw a post by my cousin of a video of a little girl singing a song so effortlessly. It was a song I remembered from my high school years because the title was his name. Something in me was telling me to search his name in the same social networking site. I realized yes he was an overseas worker and must have a site to connect to family and friends. When I saw his profile photo, I recognized him right away. On the side, he has become a photo hobbyist. We got connected again, thank you to the world wide web. And I was so happy upon seeing his profile - somehow my wish and prayer was answered! He has entered the arch as I did six years earlier. That moment, I had known why heaven rejoices when just one soul turns to the Father through the Son. He had begun his life journey four years ago.
It was now easy for us to witness and to share because we have received the power when the Holy spirit came upon our lives separately.
Now, I just realized that God our Father's timing of events in our lives is perfect! There were things He did not allow us in the past because it was not the right time and we were not prepared for it.  He had to prepare us for things that will have to happen in our lives but He can only do it when we enter the arch - His arch - because inside, we are protected by His love. Things that have happened in our lives before we entered the arch, He allowed too for us to draw ourselves to Him and learn from it.
Knowing each others' experience phase, is the most amazing experience I have had. Somehow, I have this feeling of connecting my present enjoyment phase to my educational phase that was broken by my experience phase. The latter however, makes us humble ourselves and bow down to God our Father when we can no longer do more but keep still and know that He is God in our lives.
With this, I pray that we will stay in God's arch bounded by His love together with our brothers and sisters in Christ, forever.
Meantime, let us all have a blessed day - always!...

I love these photos and the rest that I requested him to take for me because I wanted to see him happy through it all...what good photography and surely more than this in the future...thank you, Senpai!

                         

Les Crane - Desiderata (1972)

1959-1980

"Those born on September 3 have many talents and a visionary quality about their work. Their ideas maybe ahead of their time, which can make them misunderstood by others. They tend to be socially astute and morally sound."  This is what is written in my key chain gift from nana in Canada and it is what i am and more. 

I was born in a traditional highlander family. Both sides of my parents are landed and with herds of animals. In our highland community, both our grandfathers were wealthy and each had performed the  twelve days grand feast once in their lifetime. They were both leaders of their clans and both were mourned for seventeen days and buried traditionally. 

Our family is a transition generation from paganism and idolatry to Christianity. Earlier generations may not have known for they have not heard. But my parents' level have heard but have not known till late. They practiced their own religion. Worshiped their own gods. Offered the sacrifice of the pagans.  And it influenced us - the next generation's lives. We were to suffer to the third and fourth generation and we are the third in existence. Unless we break the curse in our level, our next four generations will also suffer as we had.  

Because of our ancestor's identity, the nonbeliever states exist in us. We were born separated from God, lived in suffering, lost in the midst of sin, controlled by the ruler of the kingdom of the air.  
We were spiritually dead. And though our grandparents were wealthy, they lost some of it, their children lived on it, and we consumed the last of it. Understandably, because we were ignorant of God and His ways. 

These, I did not realize until I myself lost my share of it. 

Before even entering elementary school, I was offered sacrifice to unknown gods due to sickness. I suffered from nightmares and some emotional problems thereafter. We also passed through diseases whereby we were offered again sacrifices to unknown gods. It was the family tradition or religion.

At about age ten or twelve, I had a dream. I saw my parents both dead in their coffins. My sister told me to bite a tree and transfer the curse on it so it won't happen. I did. 

Now I know it was Father God telling me my parents were spiritually dead because of our culture, traditions, and idolatry. 

As a young child, I cried myself when left at home to stay while my mother brought my sister to work on weekends. And once, at this state, I heard a voice in my brain saying I had another father. I never understood and wondered what it meant. 

Now it is clear that was God's Spirit telling me I have Yahweh.  

I was trained and developed formally in school. My needs were provided by my family and relatives and even government until I finished university education. We received gifts from our distant uncle, then our town mayor, every occasion in our lives until he died. We were fed from produce of our farmlands and game meat from the mountains and our family's herds. We were not in want as per our basic needs. But we were meant to suffer our lot being the third generation of our family. 

I graduated valedictorian in the elementary and top section in high school. I was a government scholar in college. All these were part of my first twenty years - my training and development stage. Otherwise known as education phase of my life.   

It was all part of God's plan for me.      

The photos here are by my Senpai in high school whose blog inspired me to continue my own...love these photos and all the rest of the album...

   

My Life Journey

I am inspired by the blog site of a friend way back in my younger years documenting his life as an overseas worker all the years so i am writing my own life journey. Both of our blogs are our ways of witnessing for the Lord from our city, to our country, to our neighboring countries, and to the ends of the earth. 
It is also our way to tell our children what we have passed through so that they may learn from it. In this age and generation, we do not have time anymore to tell our stories to our kids. All of us are busy with our own activities.  We do not have time beyond providing for our basic needs.
This world has become an overwhelming one since the onset of world wide web. But I have foreseen this stage of my life twenty years ago when the information superhighway reached my country. That time, i already saw myself retiring to my computer after my employment life. And that is now.
God has been so kind to us his creation from the beginning. And He allows things to happen in this world for a reason. The airplanes, the television, and now the world wide web - all for His purpose. To spread His kingdom on earth. It is His work - not ours. We are the instruments to fulfill it. And all these things are our tools. It is His plan that will be fulfilled here on earth as it is in heaven. And all these are part of His plan. We are just walking through  that is why our life is a journey. And our homeland is a destination that is worth our life journey.
Indeed, we have received power and we will witness.
And so my life journey...for all of us to learn...

The photo on this page was taken by my friend I mentioned above, who is my model in my blogs writing, he is a photo hobbyist...he took these and many more for me...